joke only

An alcoholic son wrote a letter…
> > Beer dad, Gin na ako iinom ulit, Whisky kelan.
> > Tanduay mo yan, tiTequilan ko na talaga, pRhumis po!
> > Your San, Miguel

Beauty contest…..
> > > Emcee: What’s the big problem facing the country today?
> > > Contestant: Drugs
> > > Emcee: Very good, why do you say that?
> > > Contestant: Ang mahal na kasi eh!

PERFECT HEAVEN: Having an American salary,
> > > British home, German car, Chinese food, and Pinoy
> > > wife!
> > > >
> > >
> > > PERFECT HELL: Having a Korean car, British wife,
> > > German food, American home and Pinoy salary

Spanish teacher: Class use ‘fuera’ in a sentence.
> > > Student: Mis maestras son bonitas (my teachers are beautiful).
> > > Teacher: Oh, that’s very flattering but where’s ‘fuera’?
> > > Student: Fuera ka!

MRS: Sa palagay mo, mahal, ilang taon na ako?
> > > MR : Kung titignan kita sa buhok 18 ka lang; kung
> > > nakatalikod 16 lang, kung sa kutis 22 lang. Bale
> > > total ay 56 sweetheart

Dok: Anong nangyari sa mga tenga mo?
> > > Joshue: Nagpaplantsa kasi ako nang kumiriring ang telepono.
> > > Aksidenteng na-pick up ko ‘yung plantsa.
> > > Dok: Eh bakit dalawang tenga mo ang nagkaganyan?
> > > Joshue: Ang gago, tumawag uli!

> GMA
> > > Dumalaw si GMA sa mental hospital…
> > > Dok: Let’s welcome President Arroyo!
> > > Pumalakpak lahat ng pasyente maliban sa isa na nasa sulok…
> > > GMA: O, dok, bakit ‘yung isa, hindi pumalakpak?
> > > Dok: Ma’am, magaling na po siya!

Kodigo
> > >
> > > Nahuling may kodigo ang estudyante.. .
> > > Titser: Ano ‘to?
> > > Estudyante: Prayer ko po, ma’am!
> > > Titser: At bakit answers ang nakasulat?
> > > Estudyante: Naku! Sinagot na ang prayers ko!

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
> > control your anger?
> >
> > Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
> >
> > Husband: How does that help?
> >
> > Wife: I use your toothbrush

Doc: For your health take only a cup of rice, lean meat and a saucer
> > of kangkong. Fruits for dessert and lots of juice.
> > Fat guy: Doc, shall I take them before or after meals?